Game: Rocky Rodent (SNES/1993)
Mascot for: Irem
Perhaps the worst mascot of all time, Rocky Rodent is tasked with saving Balboa's daughter after mobsters have kidnapped her. In order to fight, Rocky has to use different hairstyles (no joke). His first hairstyle allows him to skewer and throw enemies; a mohawk can be thrown at enemies like a boomerang; braids can be used like a grappling hook; and finally, a corkscrew-like haircut let's him bounce on his head to jump higher. The game takes place in the city, so Rocky will be climbing tall buildings and fighting gangsters.
What happened: First of all, if you want your mascot to catch on, maybe don't use a rodent! Rocky is based on a nutria rat, a vile, ill-tempered, foul-smelling, violent rodent. Rocky also shows us everything that was wrong with the '90s: he was loud, extreme, and gross. When your character's main attack is different '80s hairstyles, you've done something wrong. Basically, he had no chance of ever being timeless like Mario or Sonic.
I thought you'd follow up Aero the Acrobat with Zero the Kamikaze Squirrel. I was all set to say something about Zero (more Mega Man X related), but then you do this. WELL! :)
I remember seeing ads for Rocky Rodent in magazines back in the day and being pretty disgusted and disinterested with the idea. How unimaginative can you get? A couple of years ago I did get an off brand mini-console that has this game on it! When I played it, it wasn't AS bad as I thought it would be, but it was still pretty bad. Could Irem come up with a more unimaginative character? Ugh.
Don't worry, we'll get to Zero very soon (I'm going in chronological order)
Climbing tall buildings and fighting gangsters, you say? That's all in a Monday's work for ... a swamp rodent that sometimes look like Merlin from Sword in the Stone.
Yeah, it doesn't make any sense
I like the 80s haircuts as weapons. Maybe you could also unlock 50s and 60s haircuts too, and why not 90s as well.
Just go all in! Maybe you could collect cans of hairspray as health
Perfect!