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Nerds Without Pants Episode 235: These Greens Ain't Gonna Putt Themselves!

'Ware the child with a knife!

Welcome back to Nerds Without Pants! This episode is a pseudo-sequel to the last one, as we discuss levels and areas in games that we find spooooky. Then it’s a lot of games talk before the War of the Roses in Video Game Cage Match. Enjoy!


00:00 – 15:50 Child With a Knife

16:00 – 1:32:57 STAGE SELECT: Scary levels/areas in games

1:33:17 – 1:48:00 EMAIL BANANA BOAT

1:48:00 – 3:41:55 CONSUMPTION JUNCTION: Read Dead Redemption 2, PGA Tour Golf, Gotham Knights, Final Fantasy XIV, Final Fantasy XVI, Silent Hill 2 remake, Resident Evil 4 remake, Dead Space remake

3:42:35 – 3:54:54 VIDEO GAME CAGE MATCH: Rule of Rose vs Rumble Roses

3:55:03 – 4:00:08 Outro



What advice would you give your younger self if you could go back in time?

What is your comfort movie or TV show?

Who would play you in a movie?

What’s a word that should come back?

What food is too much work for you to bother with?

How big of a difference has corn made in YOUR life?

Are gift certificates actually gifts?

Should I (Justin Hamm) spend an exorbitant amount money for a new PC?

VIDEO GAME CAGE MATCH: Street Fighter 2 (1992) vs Metroid Prime 2


Twitter: @NWPcast


Our theme song “Relax” and interstitial tracks “To the Maxx” and “Moody Grooves” are written and performed by Megan McDuffee.





10/28/2022 at 04:49 AM

Stage Select:

1. Buy $1000 or more of Apple stock during MacWorld 97.

2. I keep going back to the animated trinity of Simpsons, King of the Hill, and Futurama. Also Bob's Burgers.

3. Given how much time I spend at my job cleaning up company messes, I've decided that Jonathan Banks should play me in a movie.

4. "Spoony" should make a comeback. Maybe "gift certificate" - see below.

5. Most foods are too much work for me to bother with when I'm working. I prefer quick and easy in both prep and cleanup. I eat out a lot.

6. I guess it's debatable how much the presence of HFCS so many of the foods we consume in this country has on us.

7. They're basically store-specific gifts of cash, so that people can feel better about giving them. But they also cut down on gift-shopping time. That said, I see a lot more pre-paid gift cards than gift certificates.

8. I'm going to refer you to the words of the immortal Brad Goodman - "if it feels good, do it." For my part, I'm a Mac user due in part to my intense dislike of Windows and Microsoft in general, and I've never really been a PC gamer, secondary in part to said distaste for Windows. So I may not be the best person to ask.  For what it's worth, I did indulge in a new M2 Macbook recently.

Cage Match: 

Ken and Ryu are game, but they're dealing with the greatest intergalactic bounty hunter in history. After a few charged plasma shots, missile blasts, and a screw attack or two, Ryu and Ken have had enough. She's just fought a bunch of space ghosts and demons, after all. Metroid Prime 2 wins. 

I don't kno about Child With a Knife, but there is a game called Squirrel With a Gun in the works.

Cary Woodham

10/28/2022 at 08:01 AM

Stage Select:

1. Don't go to college, just learn a trade or something that would be more marketable.

2. Comfort TV shows include cartoons from The Disney Afternoon like DuckTales, Rescue Rangers, Darkwing Duck, etc.  Also Mystery Science Theater 3000.

3. I have no idea.  I'm so weird that I think I'd have to be animated.

4. I can't think of any words that should come back.  But I can think of a lot that should go away.

5. I sure do like lasagna, but it's a pain to make homeade.

6. Considering that corn is in pretty much anything we eat, I guess it plays a lot in my life.  

7. I guess anything can be a gift.  Even gift certificates.  Some of the best gifts aren't ones you wrap, though.  Like your time.

8. I guess if you use the PC heavily to play games and such, then you should spend a lot of money on it. If not, then maybe not so much.

Cage Match:

That's a tough one.  Both games are really hard and I'm bad at them.  Prime 2 is one of the few Metroid games I've never been able to beat.  But since the version of Street Fighter 2 you're talking about doesn't have Cammy in it, I guess Metroid Prime 2 wins.

By the way, in your last show, you said Reiko from Ridge Racer and Reiko from Rumble Roses were related.  They're not, they just have same first name.  However, Reiko Nagase from Ridge Racer has a sister named Kei Nagase, and she's in the Ace Combat games!


11/04/2022 at 05:36 AM

Oops, missed one!  Been celebrating the holidays so I probably just missed the Tweet.

What advice would you give your younger self if you could go back in time?
If you follow the Nerds Without Pants Podcast you'll have the opportunity to give your younger self advice by going back in time!

What is your comfort movie or TV show?
I have a lot but let's see if I can think of an interesting one... I think Avatar: The Last Airbender makes a great workout mix.

Who would play you in a movie?
Have you ever seen Todd Solondz's Palindromes?  Boy, there's an awkward question.  I just think it would be funny to be played by a bunch of strongly disparate actors and actresses.

What's a word that should come back?

What food is too much work for you to bother with?
I don't like handling meat and I like carbs so I tend to bake instead.

How big of a difference has corn made in YOUR life?
Some questions are just too personal to ask.

Are gift certificates actually gifts?
Watching shadows on a cave wall.  The sound of one hand clapping.

Should I (Justin Hamm) spend an exorbitant amount money for a new PC?
Am I Justin Hamm in this question?  God damn do I hate dolphins.  For myself, I'm actually happier with just a decent computer (or even a laptop) and then use the money elsewhere (video games, hobbies, whatever).  As long as it can run most everything at low-mid settings that's more than fine for me.  And even most cheapo gaming computers can do that.  The only thing I dislike about mine is that it doesn't have enough RAM for seamless multitasking or weird computer/art projects, and I could fix that with $150 or so.  Then again, I've seen what modding can do to a computer.  Maybe wait for whatever the new big modding game is and then spend too much?  Or follow sale discussion sites and strike whenever the opportune time to get discounted cards is?

Samus's normal Power Bombs are no match for Zangief's Flying Power Bombs.  Street Fighter 2 wins.

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